In my experience and opinion, there is no difference between sales, marketing, coaching and leadership. All four are dedicated to influencing people without deliberate force to moving a set of intentions or intended objectives forward to a desired result.

All three also share the following fact:

Failure occurs when people do not follow you or take action following you.

We know that there are unconcious and sub-conscious reasons for people to follow you or buy from you. I am not necessarily going to cover all of them in this article – but I am going to cover one primary striking area that appeals to both the unconcious and the concious parts of your mind.

This primary striking area or trigger is what I call the ‘Compelling Future’. People are inspired, shaken to the core and motivated highly by someone sharing a future that is positive and bright and offers not only relief but an outstanding set of experiences and results in the future.

This has partly to do with a chemical in our brains called dopamine. Dopamine is a motivating chemical for our brains – when we feel that we are on track towards something good in the future, dopamine goes off and creates a stimulating effect (e.g. when you voted enthusiastically for a politician who’s message for the future, you find compelling).

When you share a compelling future with a prospective client, mentoree or follower – bear in mind that a few of the things that they are looking for are:

1. That future has to express an experience, emotion and result that they find worth doing.
2. That there is a realistic pathway to it – it does not have to be perfect – but it has to sound realistic and do-able.

So how do you this?
Well simple.
1. You ask questions to elicit what they want to have.
2. You shut up (mostly) and listen.
3. You listen for
a. How important these wants are to them – are they even worth talking about?
b. What are the ‘really compelling’ things that they want?
c. How can your leadership, sales, marketing or coaching give them what they want?
4. You invite or request them to take actions: Do not jump to this last stage too prematurely!

Most enrollments that are effective are done with silence on your part, questions that pierce the customer’s heart to what they really want and an invitation that is appealing to their sense of higher self – i.e. what are they really willing to do or to invest in order to have what they want. (e.g. are you willing to pay me $25,000 to help you get there?).

There are two additional keys here:
1. This has to be done with some humor or alternatively with out any heavy significant drama (Compelling drama is good as long as the drama is pertinent to what they feel and leads to a fulfilling objective)

2. The attention should be put squarely and completely on the person you are addressing as the coach, leader, marketer or sales person.

Point 2 above is both confronting to those of you who like to talk too much, AND relieiving to most people (I like Point 2 above because I get to escape from my own challenges or preoccupations and focus on someone else!).

Point 2 can also be ridiculously much easier than what most people do – try to talk, out-talk and convince someone to buy from you or follow you.

So your ability to lead, coach, market and sell hinges on your ability to shut up, ask simple deep questions and then to make requests or invitations based on what you learn about them – matching what you learn about them to how and what you ask for.

I do not pretend to say that this is the best way to sell; but it is one way that works a lot easier than most techniques.

Next steps:

1. Identify three people that you failed to lead, sell, coach or market to in recent times.
2. Identify when you stopped listening to them.
3. What will you do better in the future when you interact with them again?

Much kindess and success!
Sunil Bhaskaran
Marketing Business Executive Coach.
San Jose, Santa Cruz, Capitola Ca.

Author Sunil

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